new diet blog #1: it's not a diet..it's a life change!!

OK.

I'm starting my diet...AGAIN!!
It's probably my millionth time going on a diet, but I feel more motivated to go on this diet until I reach my goal.

Current weight: 163 lbs
Goal weight: 115-125/130ish lbs
It might seem much because of my height, but I don't think it'll look bad, but I won't know until I try (for those who don't know, I'm 5'10")

I started dieting since I was in 7th grade.
I would starve myself or eat less of the wrong foods. I also started playing basketball and volleyball with my friends. After practices, I would go for the junk food that would be lying around in my house. I regret starving myself because as a result, I lost my hair and now have thin hair. I want thick, luscious hair that all girls should have! I've done a lot of diets...I kind of became addicted to herbal medicine because that helped me to control my hunger and portion size, but I became to reliant on it. I have to and I want to use my mind to control my body. I want to develop my mind to be stronger.

My parents buy us whatever food we want to eat, good or bad. I'm thankful my parents never told me that I was fat like other parents, typically Asian parents, out there. But I wished they were responsible healthy eaters.



I have decided to change that.

I have a nine year old brother and he eats less of the healthy stuff and more of the fatty stuff. I just saw him eat 3-4 chocopies!! >_< (FYI: chocopies are little cakes with marshmallow in the middle and it's covered in chocolate..so it's like a mooncakes) He's pretty...chubby, but my parents let him eat because it'll go to his height anyways. Genetically, my family on both sides are tall, but my brother and I are taller than my parents so I have a good feeling the youngest is going to be tall too. I make him go outside and play, so he can get his daily exercise. Once he's in middle school, I'm going to make him play football and basketball. And I'm going to teach him how to eat right. I told my mom not to buy junk, but she does anyways..sometimes my parents are very unreliable -___-

My other brother....he doesn't eat before going to school. I think he starves himself until he comes home or after classes. He buys fast food most of the time if he has the money. But he has a big plate full of food and he eats constantly. He's still skinny though...I hate guys for that. They eat and eat and eat, but don't gain a single pound >_< My brother exercises one a week, but I wish he would do more. He said he wants to build muscle mass so he eats a lot, but he's not eating the right foods to reach his goal. But I'm not too worried about him..I just want him to eat better.



I'm going to miss Korean food!!! For the next three months or so, I'm going to limit my food to raw fruits and vegetables, salads, protein: chicken breast and eggs, raw nuts, yogurt, and green tea. And of course WATER. I did this before for the pageant, and it wasn't that bad. I had more energy and I felt really good. There's also this rice protein powder thing that is part of this diet called the elimination diet. My friend said that it helps prevent you from gaining weight once you gradually start to eat other stuff. I hope it tastes good because most protein drinks are nasty..

For the first two weeks, I'm only going to eat raw fruits and vegetables and nuts (or at least try too..I need my protein!!) I'm going to exercise too, but for the first week I can't because I have finals coming up, and I really need the time to study because I didn't study during fall break..unfortunately -___-
But after that, I'm going to workout at the gym: an hour of fast paced walking on an incline, an hour on the elliptical machine, and 30 minutes on the stair master machine. I don't lift weights at the gym because I don't want people to look at me do it...I feel really stupid because I don't know how to use any of the machines, so until I have the confidence to lift weights at the gym, I'm going to do an DVD workout that uses both my body weights and dumbells.


I found a good site..it's www.bodyrock.tv
It has a lot of workouts, recipes..it has a lot of information too.
I also found a book called The Eat-Clean Diet: Fast Fat Loss That Lasts Forever by Tosca Reno. I haven't read it yet, but I heard some great reviews on it.



The word 'diet' sounds as if I HAVE to lose this weight. It feels like an obligation rather than a daily unconscious routine like brushing my teeth everyday. I forever hate the word diet so, I found a new motto: It's not a diet...It's a life change
It really is a life change. You're changing to became a healthy, good looking person.
I also learned that there are NO SHORTCUTS!! I've tried diet pills to lose weight, but they didn't really do anything for me. I felt really...weird?? Caffeine makes me feel weird, so I can't drink coffee and take diet pills. You shouldn't take diet pills anyways. My aunt took A LOT to lose weight, but she had pregnancy problems. We can't always rely on diet pills. It's just a waste of money in the first place. So, if you're taking diet pills or thinking of taking them....DON'T. Unless you want to screw up your health even more. Again, I know from experience.

Even thought my parents and friends did not care about my weight, the world around me did. I would frequently go to Korea, and I could hear people say things about me. Little kids would tell me I'm fat. The media told me I was fat. People at school looked at me and I would walk as fast as I could to my next class, or I would hide myself so people would not see me. Some of my "friends" gave me nicknames like greasy french fries (those punks!! if I ever see them again!!! *shakes fist* >_<)
But recently, I learned to not care about what people think about me. I just don't care. It's not like I'm going to meet that person again in my life. Even though I say this, I want to change the way I eat. I'm not happy with it, and I want to be fit. I want to be able to climb 5 floors of stairs without losing my breath. (even walking up the stairs at church wears me out a bit...and that's very pathetic) I want to run. I'm not a runner, but I want to be. I want to run in a half-marathon and a marathon. I want to be able to wear pretty, girly clothes. I want to be able to wear shorts and skirts and dresses without having to cover my legs.



I've waited long enough.
No more excuses. No more waiting. No more being depressed. No more being lazy.


Wish me luck!!!